Written for Ries Beauty: https://ries-ries.com/blogs/blog/self-discovered-solo-trip-to-the-south-of-france-self-and-destination-discovery
Browsing Category
Lifestyle
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Growing up, It was hard for me to fully embrace the idea that I could both celebrate my femininity and a woman who was extremely driven by her work/career aspirations… And by growing up, I mean very recently. Why did I have a hard time embracing the fact that I am many things that may not make sense to others?
Among other things, I did not feel that I could flaunt my naturally thick body type AND be a woman with an inherent interest in social change. What sense does that make? I, still to this day, find myself struggling to reveal my full self because of an internal belief that I can’t embrace these “multiple beings” into one.
Like, who are you to be a woman that embraces your sexiness, your intelligence, your silliness or even your strong-will within in one body? When society poses these types of questions subliminally (and, even overtly), it’s hard to not put back on that one-dimensional cloak… My name is Tyshaia and I am/ I enjoy _______.
But the truth is, I can’t just fill in that one blank. I am MANY things and, I ENJOY many things that do not fit into society’s idea of the person I am “supposed to” be.
So let’s talk… because I believe this is one of the many plights of being a woman. The struggle with learning all of the dimensions of yourself while simultaneously worrying about how your narrative–which undergoes constant iterations– comes off to the world.
Subconsciously, you may struggle with questions like: Can the womxn that is a lover of ___be ____? Can my identity + various interests be easily understood or categorized? The truth is: Your complexities do not have to make sense to anyone… but you. The various layers that make up your being do not have to live mutually exclusive.
Why can’t you be a “good girl” AND love City Girls and a good bikini pic ( We love a Sasha Obama moment)? Why can’t you be a mother AND have a playlist filled with Meg Thee Stallion? Why can’t you be soft AND powerful? Why can’t you embrace your different slashes (ie. doctoral candidate/blogger/wife)? Why can’t we be complex? In reality, we have all of the right to embrace our truth and most importantly, all of the right to be human. It is our birthright. And, these multiple dimensions are God-given meaning no HUMAN can invalidate them.
Being your whole self takes courage; especially in spaces where you can be met with judgement. But, having the courage to reveal and celebrate your multiple dimensions unlocks an individual that plays an integral role in this world. This person…this authentic self….this stranger in some cases…reveals extraordinary thoughts, bold aspirations, and radiating joy, that you owe to yourself.
Growing up, It was hard for me to fully embrace the idea that I could both celebrate my femininity and a woman who was extremely driven by her work/career aspirations… Why? Because this is what “they” constantly taught me. But, I grew to realize that a woman’s respectability, right to protection, and appreciation should not lie within the parameters of anyone’s fixed “good girl” identity. So, I began to live as if It didn’t.
Let’s practice celebrating ourselves… our whole selves. Whether that is the part of you that can spend hours creating content about your love for makeup or the part that studies law and economics. Together, we have to accept that we embody many identities, many dimensions and that they all deserve to be equally appreciated and explored.
With that, push past comfortability to embrace your “you-ness”… Push until it no longer feels unfamiliar… Push until you internally reveal all of your ever-changing dimensions…Push until the generations beyond us can show up in the world as their whole self — with no remorse or justification. Now, that is the start of a beautiful revolution.
What makes up your being? In what ways are you multi-dimensional? What are your multiple hyphens? How can you celebrate each of those parts? Sit in those uncomfortable questions and get you a good self talk going.
Not sure who made it this far but, I can’t wait until you reveal the wholeness of yourself. We are together on this journey, always.
Jacket: Cara Rene “Watch Me Charcoal Jacket”
Pants: KUT from the Kloth “Donna Coated High Waist Skinny Pants”
Shoes: Sam Edelman “Fraya Knee High Boot”
“Push past comfortability to embrace your “you-ness”… Push until it no longer feels unfamiliar… Push until you internally reveal all of your ever-changing dimensions…Push until the generations beyond us can show up in the world as their whole self — with no remorse or justification. Now, that is the start of a beautiful revolution.
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M y semester studying in New York City was one to remember. As soon as I arrived, I hit the ground running—from contacting my industry idols to attending events where I knew like-minded and passionate individuals would be present. It was only 4 months. There was no time to be wasted.