A twenty-year-old girl from the Midwest took a solo trip to Amsterdam. The city that is known for legalized marijuana and prostitution.
Sounds crazy, right? This would be a great time to let you know that this was not always on my life agenda. This plan kind of just fell onto my list of things to do before I die.
There were two black people who inspired me to push into my realm of discomfort (Hey, Emmanuel and Amanda). I met them while they were both in Rome as one of the many destinations that they had traveled to…solo. Now why would they do that in this crazy world? It really does sound insane.
Side note: I still think twice about going to the movies by myself, but here I am sitting trying to influence you to take a solo trip to a whole different destination.
Anyways…
After speaking with these two individually, I had two thoughts:
- They were insane.
- Where they live must not have heard of the buddy system
HOWEVER, I was drawn in by their demeanors. Their confidence and freedom. I wanted the slightest bit of whatever self-assurance and independence they had. If they could have had several solo trips at twenty-something years old, why couldn’t I?
With their influence, I was inspired to go for it. I was hesitant, of course, but I forced myself to embrace the unknown. I booked the flight, the hostel and packed my bag. Purposely exposing myself to an ultimate test of independence and fearlessness for a twenty-year-old.
This is what happens when a twenty-year-old from the Midwest explores herself and a new destination, consequently.
I chose Amsterdam to uncover what they both had said to be a life-changing experience. My objective was to be in choiceful solitude. Being the talkative and social person I am, I understood that I would benefit immensely from this reboot.
From the first day, this city revealed itself to me in a unique way. It released the beauty of its unique lifestyle and residents, which unbeknownst to me, was quiet a few black people who looked like ME, so I immediately got mistaken for a resident. The diaspora runs deep, yall. Good sign #1: If people ask you for directions, you are doing well because you look confident in your belonging and are less likely to be taken advantage of.
So, back to the story.
My itinerary was just for ME, created with a lot of room for spontaneity. That is one of the main benefits of a solo trip. You are in complete control of how you spend your coin and most importantly your time. My personal curiosity led me to do what I wanted— A Banksy art exhibit, waiting in line for 40 minutes to eat at a pancake place, the museum of prostitution, a walking tour, and spending nearly three hours in the Anne Frank Museum, just to list a few. All things that may not have been of interest to other individuals, but, guess what, I did not have to check in with anybody else, I just did it.
This felt amazing. Since group plans are usually what stops me from doing what I want to do. I already know too well that when I wait around for other people when trying to make travel plans, I may never go (same thing applies with life, but I digress)
It was on my solo trip that I understood my desire to discover different parts of the world, or the city, in this case, should not be dictated by anyone. I understand now that it is, in fact, crippling.
During this choiceful solitude, I had this ability to be selfish. Which is so satisfying when, as a student, I constantly feel that I am doing something for someone else. There was no comprising when I wanted to take the “scenic” route to my destination just to bypass a renowned chocolate store (if you know me, you know this was heaven).
Another thing, I was able to release my expectations of everyone. On group trips you naturally expect everyone to be on the same page as you. To be as excited as you, as tired as you, as hungry as you are and so on. Then, when they aren’t, you are irritated. But, in Amsterdam, by myself, I only had to check in with myself. If I wanted to, I could sleep in, I could eat all day, I could stand around and take pictures, I could even walk slow. I could do whatever—No judgement.
Amsterdam is a destination I will always remember. With its timeless, colorful buildings and numerous bicyclists. As promised, I had a new found confidence and assurance in my decisions. During my spontaneous moments, I learned more about myself. I intentionally developed the courage to explore myself while consequently exploring the foreign city. I practiced asking myself little things like, how far do you want to walk today or how do YOU feel today, that I otherwise would not have asked. This was growth that could only happen in solitude. Even though it was sometimes awkward, I was patient with myself. There was no pressure to be a certain person or enjoy a certain thing. Tapping in to learn what I wanted was empowering and right on time.
As pretty as this picture sounds, solo travel does have it downfalls. Yes, my phone died while in this Dutch speaking city, in the midst of trying to find my way back to the hostel. Since I was alone, I was under less pressure to figure things out. I got on a random tram that was going in that direction found a paper map on the bus and found my way back. I figured out how I handle adversity alone, which is often different than when you are with groups of people.
Now, of course I needed a photo, because without photographic documentation, did it really happen. This was a petty moment that I was not prepared for. Hunting with expectations that I will find the person who is holding some kind of DSLR camera and that they will know how to capture an image following the rules of photographic composition. Nope…I failed. You will find out that this is nearly impossible. At this moment you will be grateful for that one friend that never fails to come through with the angles (Shout out to Taylor and Jelani).
My images do not do this city justice. The charm of the city was unexpected. I don’t know if I fell in love with the city or my own company first. The beauty of the city that was exposed to me was so assuring. I was supposed to be here; I was meant to learn these things in solitude; my eyes were meant to see this. I returned with a new perspective and amazing experiences that unfortunately I will never be able to communicate in the fullest capacity.
Ultimately, There was a certain freedom that came with the understanding that I did not have to rely on anyone to have a good time. My own company was filling. By the end of the third day, the connection I had with myself deepened. I responded to my wants with no second thoughts or remorse. This was something that I immediately recognized that I did not want to lose. Now, these are things that you do not have to travel to develop but, I just so happen to figure all of this out as a twenty year old in Amsterdam alone.
This is what you get when a twenty-year-old girl from the Midwest has a successful solo trip and is so inspired that she shares so others can plan for the same.
Solo traveling, when done correctly, can be therapeutic. I understand it can be a daunting decision, but if you have the resources, I urge you to embark on this empowering journey. If not now, please add it your plans. Start by doing your research and deciding where you want to go. It does not have to be in another country; it can be an interesting nearby city. Whether it is 100 miles or 1000+ miles away, plan that trip. Who am I to suggest? It is all about where your interests lie. Try it…be your own tour guide, your own advocate and overall…your own greatest company.
